So many things going wrong all at once has me feeling like an emotional train wreck. I want to cry over silly inconsequential things, argue with my husband, throw in the towel on some frustrating situations. Then, I am mad at myself for not being stronger, for even being a hot mess. I think I should be able to easily rise above such things. That adds to my desire to sit and cry. I feel like a failure.
I thought about going for a walk but didn't really want to be caught crying as I walked around the neighborhood or at the local park I favor. Instead I saw my Bible on the table and I sat down in front of it.
Ok God, I need you to talk to me. I need you to both strengthen me and comfort me so I can get a grip and make it through my day without doing something I will later regret.
I opened the Bible randomly and was going to flip forward until I decided where I should read. Should I go to Matthew where I left off my reading? Maybe I should go to Psalms and find some comfort there. Or maybe I should turn to Proverbs for some wisdom that I surely need. My random page I turned was in Lamentations, not the most uplifting book of the Bible and not what I would have chosen for myself. But on the lower right hand corner I have a couple verses highlighted in blue because they talk about God's love.
What I saw said this. "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies, love) never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."! Chapter 3:21-24.
I suddenly feel blessed, and loved, and comforted and strong.
Oh how sweet is the Love of a Father who waits patiently for us to turn to him so he can speak truth into our hearts.